FAC YUOs in 2016

How FAC YUOs are evolving with their inherent flaws and potential gifts has been enumerated in my last post FCUK and Chinese Branding.

I can sense easily at least a hundred such FAC YUOs are rigorously swimming and silently fermenting in my head at this very moment. I would like to download a sample in an artfully crafted didactic form to illustrate certain interesting latent characteristics of the Chinese.

For weirdly reticent Chinese (see post Opening Doors to Chinese Minds), FAC YUOs could be a bold burst into the Global Conversation (GC) Scene in a playfully sneering way to make up for lost ground and time.

Through patient following of these FAC YUOs, you will be rewarded with the discovery of where the Chinese are coming from deep inside their viscerals. FAC YUOs on revealing the Chinese Mind is like National Geographic on Wildlife, if I may be allowed to brag a little. Incidentally, behind the inscrutable facade, the Chinese have a wild side, too, if you know where to look. Wink, wink. You may be getting a treat here as well in the new year.

Sedulously, I have been mulling over the holidays whether to shorten FAC YUO to FU on grounds of pronunciation and for ease of presentation.

FIND OUT next year if I have succumbed to this nefarious temptation.

HAPPY NEW YEAR and GREAT PROMISES of FAC YUOs in 2016

FCUK and Chinese Branding

It's the holiday season. Let's have a fun break and mess around a bit with some letters of the alphabet.

Would you think FCUK is a French or a British enterprise ? Once I tell you FC is French Connection, you will straightaway conversely deduce that it is British, from the remaining letters UK for United Kingdom, of course.

The Japanese brand UNIQLO was forged in a comedy of errors mixed up in communication between 2 non-English speaking and writing Asian countries. Not the least surprising.

Once upon a time, Hong Kong (HK) was the centre of the universe for "Rag Trade". Inevitably, HK holds the distinction in some way for the birth of names of both FCUK and UNIQLO. 

FCUK  was hatched from the fax exchanges between its London and HK offices from the fax header "FCUK to FCHK". Someone noticed that FCUK is suggestively catchy and the rest was history.

The Japanese thought HK was better at English with HK's British connections and left it to HK to handle the nitty-gritties of an English brand name. Japan wanted the first 3 letters of of the 2 words "unique" and "clothing"which should have been UNICLO. Instead, HK botched it up in the misplaced selection of letters of the alphabets and the brand was stuck with UNIQLO, but retained its pronunciation as "uni - clo" as the Japanese intended. 

In this spirit of letter-play, I, as a Chinaman would like to brand my anecdotes to enlighten the understanding of the Chinese Culture and Way with the acronym FACYUO.

In my efforts to produce a somewhat FCUK styled suggestive effect and reenact our Asian tendency to "fcuk up" Anglo-American alphabets as in the case of UNIQLO, I am confident my brand would do nicely positioned in two words in the form of FAC YUO. Pronounce it any which way you fancy !

Remember, we Chinese are, at the moment, weak in Brand Building as pointed out in my post Opening Doors to Chinese Minds and also we are inclined to be hyperbolic as per post Trump Knows China? How Much? part 2. So, please bear with FAC YUO for the time being.

As a start, my FAC YUOs will cover Chinese eating affairs at the more representative lower tier of Chinese food stalls. The Haute Cuisine variety of Chinese dining has caught up with and closely imitated Western standards and would be of no didactic value in these anecdotes.

So, LOOK OUT for and ENJOY my FAC YUOs in this holiday season !!!

Amazing Grace

Americans who read this blog can be forgiven for thinking that I am some kind of an ISIL maniac minus the mindless violence and gory chunks. As ISIL hates, I dislike America.

But, nothing can be further from the truth. When I think of America or Americans, two words spring to my mind - "Amazing" and "Grace". And it's not just the Christmas spirit or season. It's something quite firmly lodged in my psyche. Those who have read my posts sensitively may have detected this disposition in me.

The amazing and gracious lists of things are endless and, for the moment here, I touch on the immediately most profound.

Each time I returned to Malaysia from a trip to the US, I am imbibed with a very generous and gracious mood. While the mood lingers, I tip exorbitantly and smile at everyone. Then, the overwhelmingly sour local drag repossesses me probably after about a month. 

Americans are amazingly open with their hearts and minds. They are not afraid to let others learn from them and they willing bare their warts and all in the teaching process. That's how many bloggers all over the world can feel at home and comment critically on America.

When we are at home, faults can be easily spotted around us. The grass always looks greener on the other side. Michael Moore has again capitalised on this type of situation which is themed in his coming movie: Where to Invade Next.

There is deliberately no question mark at the end of the sentence, Michael giggled, as this was not a question but a decision already taken, in the distinctive brash American fashion.

The very manner of framing this movie title shows that Americans can mock at their own faults in a self-deprecating way. This movie was shot entirely outside the US to point out how things that had gone seriously wrong in the US, are better handled elsewhere.

America always has its self-correcting mechanisms when it has gone into extremes as I reassured a fellow countryman of mine, who was unduly worried over an unsavoury American policy as touted, in my post: Trump irks Muhammad Ali.

As we go into the Christmas holidays, we can be rest assured in Amazingly Gracious America that the excesses of Fox News would be balanced by the likes of Michael Moore and Noam Chomsky.

On my side of the world, we are reassured of the harmonious validity of the Yin and Yang equilibrium firmly in place.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND PEACE ON EARTH

Obama's Honest Stand

Everyday on Fox News you see the hawks lambasting Obama for not doing enough in Syria and defeating ISIL. And the Fox presenters are having a gala time goading on their hawkish guests' voracious appetite for the fun sport of Obama-thrashing.

Everyday I hear disconnected lectures on Obama should do this or that. Why do these hawks have such unrealistic expectations?

Don't you hawks know Obama is a "Yin" President? Come on then, guys, read my posts on "Yin" President Obama, and Troubles of a "Yin" Obama and you will begin to have an understanding of Obama's mindset.

You can then stop wasting yours and the viewers' time whining about expectations of this President that are never going to happen.

This morning I heard the smartest and most harmoniously accurate thing said about Obama by a Major General Bob Scales (Ret).

He said Obama was voted in to end wars and he is not about to start one in his final year in office and the General then moved on to talk about strategies.

How refreshing and soothing to hear this Major General Bob Scales on Fox News for a change who did not waste time and energy by the usual plunging into a vicious diatribe of expecting the unexpectable from Obama.  

A "Vegetarian" Obama in this sense will never eat Meat. Bob Scales has got the smarts to get it right. To borrow from Trump's parlance, it would be STUPID of you hawks to keep on harping on such an Obama to start eating meat, metaphorically speaking of course.

The real problem in my view is with the US brand of Democracy. In Great Britain, the Westminster Parliamentary System of Democracy would have changed the Prime Minister to fit in with the ebbs and flows of the times, not hampered by rigidly fixed 4 year terms limited to 2 terms per president.

So, blame the current impasse and US inactions in Syria on the STUPID US SYSTEM. You can never go wrong Mr Trump so long as you keep on using the word "STUPID" in your campaigning.

Opening Doors to Chinese Minds

President Franklin D Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066 on the 19th February 1942 and about 120,000 Japanese Americans were rounded up and interned in military camps during WW 2.

The key word that sealed the fate of the Order was "INSCRUTABLE". No evidence was available at that time that could prove that the Japanese Americans posed a threat or danger to America. The White House discussions justified that the Japanese could be planning something, but because they were viewed as inscrutable by the Americans, it was felt safer to lock them up.

No such concerns were discussed about German Americans or Italian Americans though America was also at war with Germany and Italy at that time. 

Inscrutable, that's how the West sees us, Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, etc. In this sense it is quite clear that I am an unusual Chinese. In my posts so far, I have already clumsily spilled out so many secrets.

Pai Gow when fully revealed and explained will begin to open doors to the Chinese Mind.

In my post "Global Conversation (GC)", I pointed out that many secrets of the Chinese are already out in the open but their significance not noticed or realised.

Pai Gow is one of many such open secrets. So widely exposed to the American public, yet no one knows the secrets behind it.

There are weird characteristics of the Chinese that just won't reach out to the GC or somehow impose self-damning restrains to bringing matters up.

Surely what I have brought up so far must be easily known by say at least 100 million other Chinese out of a world population of 1.8 billion (Chinese diaspora included). Let's be even more conservative, say 10 million. Yet not a word of what is in this blog of mine is found anywhere else, hitherto. What can explain this sort of statistical probability except that the Chinese character is weirdly reticent in this regard.

It is well known that although China is the world no 2 economy, but when it comes to brand building, it is still like a baby learning and can only take baby steps to improve.

When you look at a Western advertisement of a prestigious product, you can immediately identify with the product and the glamorous celebrity in the advertisement at one glance.

Chinese products reaching the International Arena when advertising still have to name the celebrity and uses English to do so (yet no one knows him/her from Adam or Eve). And then, even more puzzling, needs to describe what the celebrity is famous for and do so in this instance in Chinese character writings. How on Earth are so many Chinese Bananas and other non-readers of Chinese character writings throughout the world supposed to follow and understand? All the advertising dollars are simply poured down the drain.

How a culture advertises and approach brand building is an excellent indicator of how the culture communicates.

Chinese at the moment, unfortunately, still don't get it. How to communicate to reach out to and stay up in the GC.

More dangerously, an irascible President Donald Trump may get confused and irate with this wishy-washy nature of muddled Chinese communication and impatiently start a war with China.

Bathwater Used, Baby Thrown Out

Pai Gow being first adapted into a casino game in Las Vegas and now spreading back to Asia, struck me like a bolt, to discover that the uncouth proponents of the adaptation were enamoured to the bathwater and threw the hallowed baby out. A slightly perverse twist to the English Maxim: "Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater".

This is how it feels to a traditional-conscious Chinaman like myself who has an inkling passed down verbally to me by my Dad of the rich meanings and historical importance of Pai Gow.

Apparently, the casino business in the 1980s was waning in Vegas and an innovative casino owner dabbled with the idea of introducing new games to boost business. He had numerous Chinese customers and friends from nearby San Francisco. Together they set up an American version of Pai Gow reduced to its simplest form. It has now become popular in casinos all over the world.

Of course, it is a gambling frolic of the Chinese, too. As a Chinese realist, I would unapologetically confess that Chinese culture ostentatiously revolve around money (see post: Minor Conversation). For motivational endeavours to bear fruits, money must always be in the pot. That's how the didactic properties of Pai Gow could be cogently used to spread and build fundamental character and attitude of the widely scattered Chinese masses.

Chinese are comfortable with being super wealthy and make no bones about flaunting their wealth. Chinese Proverbs sing high praises about the might and joy of wealth.  Jack Ma is openly adored and envied. We are, indeed, pretty puzzled as to why Westerners are so pretentious about wealth.

Mark Zuckerberg and his wife upon the birth of their daughter pledged US$ 45 billion to charity. Many Chinese till today are still troubled and reeling from speculations whether his wife, a Chinese, agreed to it and, if so, how on earth did Mark CONvince her. As it turned out, however, as exposed by a NYT writer it is not exactly a charity yet, but an arrangement that has a tax benefit angle and phenomenal philanthropic publicity. 

Western ideologies and values stemmed mainly from religious teachings tend to cast bad light on wealth. Common admonitions:"it's easier for a camel to enter the eye of a needle than a rich man the kingdom of ....", "the love of money is the root of all evil" and such like. Yet, amongst the richest Western institutions in the world is a religious establishment at the fount of spreading these messages. Western hypocrisy simply never fails to overwhelm us, Chinese.

According to known records, Pai Gow started during the Song Dynasty which places it at 1,000 years old. My Dad contended that it could have been almost 5,000 years old, give a millennium or two. It was Song scholars who first recorded the game officially.

Those days the peasant Chinese were mostly illiterate and the pedagogue function of Pai Gow encouraged the spreading of the philosophies imbued in the game at an infectious rate throughout the Chinese Empire and vassal states like Vietnam.   

Today, the banal version of the game, fit only for gaming, rakes in billions for the casinos with no recognition for the significance and value of the meaning and symbolism behind the game.

The bathwater is cherished, but the baby is thrown out.

Prefatory to Pai Gow

Malaya was a prolific producer of tin and rubber under British Rule. Yet, you never hear of a glut of these two commodities. There was the London Metal Exchange (LME) and Rubber Stockpile Board. Together with the British artful domination of the GC (see post on Global Conversation) there always seemed to be a reasonable demand for tin and rubber. When international tensions heightened anywhere around the globe or war broke out, like the Korean War, inevitably, a windfall of tin and rubber prices boom followed.

Our first 3 Prime Ministers were lawyers trained in the prestigious Inns of Courts in London, UK. They were quite happy even after independence to leave it to the British to do the International Talking on behalf of Malaysia. They understood and appreciated the might of the GC. Tin and rubber prices managed to remain rather buoyant throughout.

Along came our fourth homegrown PM M2 (see post Trump irks Muhammad Ali). Educated locally, if you count Singapore then as part of Malaya through the Straits Settlement provisions. Another accolade to the British for their cunning juggling of acquired territories for political posterity.

M2 innocuously (a description that can rarely be associated with him) but, more so, naively believed that world commodity prices obeyed the simple economic laws of supply and demand.

M2 staged what he thought was a masterly stroke of genius. A commodities coup to corner prices through a 'dawn raid" on a British-owned Malaysian Corporation listed on the London Stock Exchange was executed. Only to be undone by a change in the rules of the LME and the assertions of the influence of the British in the GC.

M2 became patently aware of the power of the GC from this incident. Since then he had added a vitriolic dimension to his premiership and "retired" life attacking  the deceitful GC and the West. The slogans that emanated: "LOOK EAST", "BUY BRITISH LAST", etc.

My Dad descended from a family that came from China to Malaya lured by the prospects of tin at the turn of the twentieth century.   

The Chinese used sturdy wooden structures called "palongs" to mine for tin - cheap, slow and labour-intensive. The British had their sophisticated "Dredges" and created huge, ecologically damaging man-made lakes to operate the dredges. With each ravenous scoop of a bucket, sediments about the size of a car are processed for tin inside the dredge. The British method proved to be more efficient, productive and plunderous.

To run the labour-intensive palongs, my Dad's family had to engage armies of labourers and coolies. During their free time at night the popular game of Pai Gow was fondly played amongst the workers as entertainment and relaxation. The powerful Chinese Philosophical Didacticism built into this game was passed on in this way which helped to shape their orderly attitudes towards life.

This game has been in existence for millenniums and has always been widely enjoyed by artisans and tradesmen throughout China and from the southern borders spread to Vietnam which for very much of history had been a vassal state of China. 

My Dad as a young man was enamoured by this game which he played in the mines he supervised that fostered a camaraderie spirit between workers and owners and who were closely knitted through festive dinners and other traditional celebrations in tin mines as well.

Chinese Miners' Unions or strikes were unheard of, much to the puzzlement of the British then.

My Dad motivated by his deep love for Pai Gow, impassionately impressed upon me the symbolism and philosophy in this game and of all its beauty and empirical value. That's how I saw the link in this game to the Victorious Vietnamese in the war with the US.